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7 ways to meet new friends and strengthen old ones

Human beings have the need to surround themselves with people, this makes us happy and healthier. How to keep our friendships or meet new ones.... , 2020-05-24

We need to be surrounded by people, it is in our human nature. Not only to satisfy our basic needs, but also for our mental health and well-being. There are countless studies that prove this.

Unfortunately, as we grow older, many people forget about friendships and focus exclusively on family. This narrows our social circle more and more. Even in old age, many people no longer even have their own family members and end up alone.

It is important that during all stages of our lives we cultivate close ties of family, friendship and companionship.

Why is it so important to be surrounded by people?

Numerous scientific studies have shown that lonely people live shorter and poorer

Strong friendships and social bonds keep us physically and mentally healthier. In other words, surrounding ourselves with people makes us happier.

Some people say they prefer to have their animals
as friends... while it has also been shown that having pets improves our quality of life, an animal can never replace the richness of human relationships.

Therefore, maintaining strong bonds with those close to us will be fundamental to living our lives to the fullest.


Will anyone do?

It is just as important to have people around as it is to have certain people far away. There are people who are negative, who absorb our energies, they are called "toxic people", very harmful to our lives.

We have a full article on this subject, I suggest you read it here:
Should I stay away from someone? How to avoid toxic people.

How to keep our friendships and family ties healthy

There are two basic rules that will allow you to maintain healthy, stable and positive relationships with anyone: respect and understanding.

Both are achieved through good communication, doing the difficult exercise of putting yourself in the other person's shoes. Trying to understand what is going on in the other person's
head and world.

Whenever you are about to argue, to use hurtful words, to reproach, you should stop in your tracks and count to thirty. Ask yourself questions such as: could I be wrong, why does the other person say what they say and not something else, how can you disagree with the other person without hurting them?

To really put yourself in the other person's shoes is very difficult, sometimes it even goes against all our beliefs, but it is the only way to avoid a major conflict, it is the only way to begin to understand why the other person acts or says what he or she says.

The basis of any good relationship is to have honest conversations: don't hide or exaggerate anything. Don't try to win a conversation just for personal satisfaction.


My links are healthy, but I don't see much of other people

In this day and age, where everything is fast-paced and social networks replace face-to-face, we think that a couple of Whatsapp messages keep us together: WRONG. It is proven that social networks can generate more anxiety and unhappiness, especially in front of people who are more vulnerable.

Social media should not replace face-to-face conversations and meetings with friends. We should find a space in our week (at least once a week) to get together with one or more people, whether they are friends, colleagues or family.

We know that we all have our times, that it is difficult to coordinate a lot of people; it doesn't matter, one person is enough if necessary. And, in this case, social networks help us to coordinate more easily and quickly.

There are no more excuses that it is difficult to coordinate times. We can always find a space to meet someone we want to (and if we really want to).

It is true that sometimes because we change jobs, studies, routines, etc. our schedules are altered, as we get "out of sync" with our old friends. In these cases we must find new ones (although without losing sight of the old ones, especially the most valuable ones of course) in our new routines.

How to meet new people

We should have a clear goal in mind: we are trying to meet new people for friendship. You will hardly find a new friend on a social network to meet new partners. In fact, the internet in general is not a safe way to meet new friends.

With the exception of certain very specialised online forums or networks, which you wouldn't be able to meet in any other way, the internet is not the best place to meet people.

If you have a very strong and special
hobby, such as astronomy, love the architecture of a city, study the behaviour of birds or reptiles, or like to collect hard-to-get stamps, and so on, then you might find certain groups on the internet that get together for activities and there you will find friends and hobby partners.

Otherwise, if you're just looking for a friend on the internet just for friendship, you'll probably only get some pervert.

By this I mean that the best places to find friendships and buddies are in the traditional places: the classroom, the office, a gym class, a neighbourhood club, etc.

Not that I demonise the internet, but we never know who is behind the keyboard. My advice from here, as a matter of safety, is to look in traditional places.

Also a very good method is to approach "tried and tested people", i.e. people who have already been vetted by others, e.g. friends of your friends.

This way you can be more confident with this new person, you will already know a lot about his/her background and tastes. By being a friend of a friend, you are assured of a certain trust, he/she is no longer a complete stranger.


Be careful with your goals

You should be clear that you are looking for new friends and partners. If you are looking for a partner or a one-night stand, the methodology will be different.

Take into account friendship relationships between different sexes (in the case of heterosexuals).
is worth remembering that, according to a recent study, a heterosexual man is far more likely to misinterpret a woman's disinterested approach than a heterosexual woman is to misinterpret a man's disinterested approach.

In other words, when a man is approached by a woman disinterestedly for the purpose of friendship, he is more likely to think that she is attracted to him, i.e. he misinterprets the relationship.
contrast, when a man approaches a woman disinterestedly for friendship, she is more likely to think correctly: that he is approaching her only out of friendship.

These were the conclusions of a very interesting recent scientific study that we should take into account. Of course, this is a generalisation, but it is worth bearing in mind when forming friendships between different sexes.

I am Alegsa

I have been writing horoscope and self-help articles professionally for over 20 years.

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